This is a very brief comment on a matter that has bothered me for a very long time, namely 'traditional' society and culture's inclination to repress women.
Obviously lots has been written on this topic already and so my contribution will be very minor. I want to explore the issue from the masculine perspective, in particular, I want to ask why men engaged in repressive practices for so long given that it meant their wives, daughters, sisters and mothers were boring beyond belief.
If someone were to ask me what I go for most in a women I would reply with 'drive'. I, like many of my peers, like women with character, ambition, goals, projects, cares, wants, dreams and desires, and I can't imagine a girl who has these things who doesn't have a fairly significant amount of drive.
But the kind of girl who is raised in an environment where girls don't speak they listen, or where girls are encouraged to hide their intelligence, or believe that obedience is the principle virtue of a good wife, is highly unlikely to have any of these qualities. And yet this is a common ideal, particularly in the developing world. And it is an ideal that is often promoted by the elder women of the community rather than the men. Why?
Is the assumption that a man who works hard all day wants merely to come home to an ordered house? If I want a cook and a cleaner and a nanny then I will hire them! But surely someone who works hard all day wants to come home to something that is warm, intimate and sensitive - a contrast to his working life. Surely what someone wants principally in a partner is someone they can share themselves with. But sharing yourself with someone who is educated to believe that 'girls don't talk, they listen' would be painful because there would be no two-way traffic.
This kind of attitude suggests an economic and cultural situation in which life is a repetitive cycle of sustenance seeking and work, work, work until you die. I can perfectly understand that this is a valid framework to operate in if you come from a destitute part of the earth, but I can't see any reason to promote an ideal remotely resembling this one in Australia where life is easy. For example, it seems to me that there are great many girls still raised to believe that 'sweetness' and doe-eyes are more attractive than anything else. Bollocks to that.
And one last thing: mothers and fathers who encourage their daughters to believe that girls should be chaste and that your virginity is the greatest gift you can give a man are fools beyond comprehension. Biological studies suggest that if girls (and boys) refrain from masturbating or otherwise engaging in sexual intercourse in their adolescence and early teens the nerve endings in the clitoris and other erogenous zones atrophy. As such, the 'gift' that such parents are giving their daughter's future husband is a frigid wife!
Obviously lots has been written on this topic already and so my contribution will be very minor. I want to explore the issue from the masculine perspective, in particular, I want to ask why men engaged in repressive practices for so long given that it meant their wives, daughters, sisters and mothers were boring beyond belief.
If someone were to ask me what I go for most in a women I would reply with 'drive'. I, like many of my peers, like women with character, ambition, goals, projects, cares, wants, dreams and desires, and I can't imagine a girl who has these things who doesn't have a fairly significant amount of drive.
But the kind of girl who is raised in an environment where girls don't speak they listen, or where girls are encouraged to hide their intelligence, or believe that obedience is the principle virtue of a good wife, is highly unlikely to have any of these qualities. And yet this is a common ideal, particularly in the developing world. And it is an ideal that is often promoted by the elder women of the community rather than the men. Why?
Is the assumption that a man who works hard all day wants merely to come home to an ordered house? If I want a cook and a cleaner and a nanny then I will hire them! But surely someone who works hard all day wants to come home to something that is warm, intimate and sensitive - a contrast to his working life. Surely what someone wants principally in a partner is someone they can share themselves with. But sharing yourself with someone who is educated to believe that 'girls don't talk, they listen' would be painful because there would be no two-way traffic.
This kind of attitude suggests an economic and cultural situation in which life is a repetitive cycle of sustenance seeking and work, work, work until you die. I can perfectly understand that this is a valid framework to operate in if you come from a destitute part of the earth, but I can't see any reason to promote an ideal remotely resembling this one in Australia where life is easy. For example, it seems to me that there are great many girls still raised to believe that 'sweetness' and doe-eyes are more attractive than anything else. Bollocks to that.
And one last thing: mothers and fathers who encourage their daughters to believe that girls should be chaste and that your virginity is the greatest gift you can give a man are fools beyond comprehension. Biological studies suggest that if girls (and boys) refrain from masturbating or otherwise engaging in sexual intercourse in their adolescence and early teens the nerve endings in the clitoris and other erogenous zones atrophy. As such, the 'gift' that such parents are giving their daughter's future husband is a frigid wife!
Interesting perspective. I had a thought about this issue a while back.
ReplyDeleteThe older generation is typically more conservative. Men in that generation actually do like women who are quiet, does the housework, listens, and not voice their opinions. Women in that generation were brought up with that mentality. So, I don't think it is unreasonable to think that the elder women would educate their children that way too.
That seem to be the case even if these elder women travel more, or move to a place like Australia. These are deep rooted cultures. Being in a more liberal country like Australia wouldn't change your mindset, if one refuses to.
Just my thoughts.